German Invasion (1)
Arrival
“Hurry up, we have to go!” My Little Rib forcefully pushed my feet off the coffee table.
“Why? Where to?”
“To the airport. The Krafziks are coming.”
“They won’t come till next month, Schnuckie.”
“You’re wrong. Check the calendar. February 22nd: ‘Arrival Krafziks: 2:05pm. Hide all cheese!’”
“Strange. Why was I thinking March 22nd?”
“That’s the day they fly back.”
“What?! They are going to stay for a whole month?”
“Yes, and you knew about it, too.”
“I must have blocked it out,” I said. And then: “So are we prepared?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, did you hide the cheese?”
“Let’s go!”
On our way to the airport I tried to get more information:
“At which hotel are the Krafziks staying? You know, this is poorly planned. We should have booked a room for them. As Nevada residents we get a discount.”
“That’s not necessary. They are staying with us.”
I stared at her in shock. “Don’t tell me I have to clear my little office. Where am I supposed to write my stories?”
My Little Rib looked at me as if she was going to ask: Where were you when we talked about all this? Instead she said calmly:
“They will stay in our room.”
“But what about us?”
“We’ll be in the second bedroom.”
“We don’t have a second bedroom.”
“Alright, your little office.”
“There’s no bed in my little office.”
“Correct. That’s why I bought us an air mattress.”
I felt a strong urge to protest and complain. The mental picture of me laying on inflatable Jell-O for four weeks made me seasick. I didn’t want to live like that, stepped on the gas and set a collision course with one of the bigger casinos. My little Rib reached over, taking control of the wheel.
“Did you put the sign in the trunk?” Months ago she had asked me to make a welcome sign for our friends.
“Yes Ma‘am.”
“Good boy.”
Standing at an airport terminal, or to be more exact, waiting in front of a sliding door for visitors to come through is just slightly more exhilarating than waiting in front of a sliding door for visitors not to come through. Waiting is boring.
“Hold up the sign, Schatz!” My Little Rib got excited. “They could come out any moment now.”
I did as I was told an held the sign that said “Welcome Friends!!!” over my head. The sliding door opened sporadically. Tourists, looking very exhausted, walked out. Some of them thanked me for the warm welcome. A short guy from India even felt encouraged to hug me lovingly and stayed by my side. I pushed him with my hip into a group of Germans a few times but he kept coming back.
Then, finally: There they were, the Krafziks! Jürgen and his wifey. Looking tired and stressed out with a pale complexion, typical for Germans, they almost walked past us. I stepped in their path holding the sign right in front of Jürgen’s face. My Little Rib, less shy than I, threw herself in his weary arms. Loud greetings. Tears of joy. Plenty of hugs. And I just stood there feeling silly with my sign and that short guy from India wrapped around my left leg.
Four weeks of German Invasion. Let the fun begin!
Four weeks of vacation? It can only be a German! In America, you get two weeks per year maximum (unless you’re a school teacher).
And let’s not mention the 11-15 paid holidays per year in Germany. Unless you are a government employee in America, you are lucky to get Christmas Day, New Year’s, Memorial Day, Fourth of July and Labor Day.
Of course, my wife and I are self-employed, which means we get no paid days off.
Comment by ralphieboy - March 9, 2007 @ 6:58 am
Vielen Danken Michael. RB, I get 3 weeks plus another 4 personal days a yr. Been with my company for 13 years though.
Comment by preiss is nice - March 9, 2007 @ 7:19 am
@pin,
Truly ambitions up-and-coming young executives never take all their vacation time, it might create the impression that the company could survive without them.
Comment by ralphieboy - March 9, 2007 @ 8:24 am
RB
What they do is let Mgnt pile up their Hours till Nov/Dec then they make them take 2-3 weeks at a time. I spread it out by taking 1-2 days at a time for longer weekends.
Comment by preiss is nice - March 9, 2007 @ 9:49 am
Micha,
did you take the little Indian guy home? He could turn out to be quite usefuly if you have any computer glitches.
Comment by ralphieboy - March 9, 2007 @ 12:53 pm
Maybe the Indian guy can translate better than my computer too. For the German word for al qaeda (Al Kaida) it translated it “Aluminum Kaida”.
Comment by preiss is nice - March 9, 2007 @ 1:37 pm
I remember when the old German spell checkers would take the word “E-Mail” and change it to “Email” (enamel).
Comment by ralphieboy - March 9, 2007 @ 11:00 pm
preiss,
you seem to have the magic touch. See if you can tickle some kind of response out of Michael.
Comment by ralphieboy - March 21, 2007 @ 11:20 pm
He’s probably still busy with the Krafziks. I figure we’ll hear from him after they’ve gone.
Comment by preiss is nice - March 22, 2007 @ 6:06 am
Not since the Japanese baloon bombers took out a couple of squirrels in the Cascades have we endured such an “invasion”. I tremble, have they established a beach head at Lake Mohave?
I love Nevada. Every Europeon that beleaves we are Destroying the planet should drive the extra terrestrial highway to see that we have n’t even broke ground in some places. I nearly cashed in my chips one night dodging Jack Rabbits on 93. Realizing that if I ended up amongst the sage and Rabbit bush the coyotes and buzzards would find me days before anyone else…self preservation prevailed. I hit three bunnys that night night and lived to tell the tale.
But that was just one of my adventures. Once in West Texas I drove up on some Vultures in the middle of the road brunching on something large and seriously putrified. As I passed a hot windy blast of death filled my airconditionless Subaru, already reeking from the consequences of New Mexico chili. It was hours before I fully expunged and exorcised that odor from my lungs.
Comment by Del Hoeft - March 24, 2007 @ 9:10 am
DH
I’ve read the German beachead is in S Florida. Buying up property alongside Venezuelans getting out while they can. If anyone thinks were running out of living space, they just need to drive thru East Texas, Louisiana, or the Florida panhandle. I thought there would be more Farms and fields instead of endless forests and a bayou so big it has a 26 mile bridge over it.
Comment by preiss is nice - March 26, 2007 @ 12:31 pm
Preis,
Every time I’m in the Florida Panhandle I wonder why it has n’t been, as they say “discovered”. There is a curious geographic phenomenom in Florida. “The farther North you go, the farther South you get”. Remember when the Mainstream Media conveniently forgot the red-county Panhandle was in a different timezone and declared Gore the winner.
One expects those Venezualans to join the ranks of the anti-Socialist Cubans. But what of the… Das-Boot-People? Will they bring their Social-Democrat baggage with them? If so, might n’t they be more comfortable in nippy Canada?
Sure… Leave the kids back in Germany to slave for the Wellfare-State while their seniors spend their inheritance (past, present and future) in sunny Florida. Sounds like a plan. Western Europe will have “generational warfare” that will make the 60’s look like a father-son picnic.
Comment by Del Hoeft - March 29, 2007 @ 7:31 pm
I enjoy your articles and the layout of your site. I will visit your blog again.
And again under a different name.
And then again…
Comment by ralphieboy - April 3, 2007 @ 12:46 am