Dear Mr. Mamoooh Ahhmadshahm-uh-harrashut!
Greetings from the Misunderestimated Germans! We are pleased to tell you, mighty President, that we have bad news and bad news for you. We’d let you choose but since we don’t have time to wait for your decision we’ll give you the bad news first:
It looks like you are going to get a serious spanking in the near future. But wait, there’s more! According to the latest poll, 57% of Americans support military actions in your country, Iran. Is that exciting, or what? Soon you can show the whole world what a great warrior and war-strategist you are.
There are, however, a few people who will voice their concerns about a war between the United States and Iran. Barbra Streisand will be one of them, without a doubt. You might not know her, so please click on this link real quick. See those lovely flowers with the big nose attached to them? That’s Barbra Streisand! She will fight for your right to nuke any country you wish without cowboys like Bush interfering. You could call that good news but believe us, it isn’t.
And now the bad news, dear Mr. Mamoooh Ahhmadshahm-uh-harrashut:
Only 16% of the American people would definitely vote for Hillary Clinton in the next presidential election. So don’t be fooled into thinking that if you manage to stay alive till 2008 things will turn around for you. The Dummycrats won’t come to rescue you (although they might be able to hook you up with a certain judge in Vermont). Rest assured, if Bush can’t get the job done during his second term, the next President will do it for him. There’s plenty of people here more than willing and able to do it. And the American people are pretty eager to get that person elected.
We, the Misunderestimated Germans, can’t wait to finally see you in action. Especially Michael; he hasn’t shaved in months to show his support for you. We wish you all the best and may the Russians be with you!
Insincerely
The Misunderestimated Germans
P.S. Don’t forget to put on a uniform. That’s very important, because otherwise you might end up in Guantanamo, in case you get captured. And you know what that means: No fair trial, people messing around with the A/C all the time, rap-music nonstop, guards flushing your stuff down the toilet and/or using your literature as such. It’s hell and pretty much lasts forever! Or even worse: Barbra Streisand might drop by for a visit …
There are those who claim that President Akhmenishobebad is trying to precipitate the return of the “Hidden Imam” - the Islamic version of Armageddon. Maybe he *is* looking for a chance to show the whole world the full extent of his strategic vision.
There are plenty of Christian fundamentalists who are looking forward to the Christian version of the Final Battle, which commences with the return of the Jewish tribes to Israel and the rebuilding of the Temple.
I am sure that when minds of that caliber get together, they can accomplish almost anything they set out to do.
As for the rest of your polemic, it is easy to pick out a nutbag like Barbara Streisand and hold her up as a paragon of liberal thinking. People like her often make me ashamed to take up a position that can be considered “liberal”.
But it is just as easy to quote some KKK or Arayan Nations extremist and present them as examples of mainstream conservative thinking. Or a Rick Santorum, a man who who has compared homosexuality to bestiality, child-abuse and wife-beating.
Comment by ralphieboy - January 28, 2006 @ 12:22 am
You cant’t say the attitude of KKK, Arayan Nation or whoever of these scum is mainstream conservatism. That’s absolutly ridiculous. Btw, the Nazis weren’t conservatives or capitalists, hence the name Nationalsocialists.
But you can say the attitude of Mrs. Streisand is very much mainstream liberal, at least as far as i can tell from the distance.
No comment about the “looks the christians have fundamentalists too”-relativism. We had that discussion before and it led nowhere.
Loc
Comment by Loc - January 29, 2006 @ 7:50 pm
Forgive me about the typos, it’s 4:50 am here
Comment by Loc - January 29, 2006 @ 7:51 pm
Loc,
Senator Santorum is pretty mainstream conservative. How about Ann “We should kill their leaders and convert them all to Christianity” Coulter?
And one does not have to go as far as the KKK or Arayan nations to find some god-awful bigots in the conservative camp, just as one does not have to attend a Holywood hot-tub party to hear some incredibly airheaded liberal thinking.
Comment by ralphieboy - January 30, 2006 @ 12:13 pm
You won’t find any bigots within the Misunderestimated Germans, ralphieboy. I can guarantee you that much.
Quoting Ann Coulter to show how mean-spritited people from the right can be is nothing more than a cheap shot. She’s a columnist, making a living by being as cynical and polemical as she can. It’s her job and she does it well! I love her and in my next life I will marry her, so you better watch what your’re saying
Barbra Streisand doesn’t even try to be cynical and polemical. She’s just echoing crap that sounds good but at the same time is so shallow that you don’t even need facts to prove her wrong. She is clearly abusing her position as a celebrity. The entertainment industry is full of people like her. Countless actors, singers, comedians etc. who couldn’t possibly have the time to be really informed about what’s going on in the room next to them, act like they know exactly what makes the world go around. That’s embarrassing and it insults the intelligence of those who try to stay informed!
Comment by Michael Meyn - January 30, 2006 @ 9:28 pm
I appreciate conservative thought when it is rational and well thought out. And I find it stimulating and challenging to argue with.
If you support the view that Conservatism is the *only* form of rational thought, then you are prepared to make excuses for the “excesses” of folks like Ann Coulter, Rick Santorum or David Duke, the ex-KKK Republican Senator from Louisiana.
There are plenty of folks like that about, and they stand closer to the “mainstream” of conservative thought than any rational person would like.
I pay little attention to what celebrities have to say about politics until they start running for office.
Comment by ralphieboy - January 30, 2006 @ 10:47 pm
@ralphieboy
I appreciate liberal thought when it is rational, well thought out, and ACCURAT!
“David Duke, the ex-KKK Republican Senator from Louisiana.”
Duke ran for Senator from Louisiana. In that race there were 2 Republicans running and one Democrat. The Republicans withdrew their major candidate rather than chance a split vote that could have given the election to Duke. In other words, they would rather have a Democrat take that seat than Duke! (Louisiana has a very different way of doing elections, so to understand this you have to understand the election process in that state.) Duke did win an election on a state level. President George H. W. Bush AND Ronald Reagan campaigned AGAINST him! He also ran for Governor of Louisiana. He got an official letter from the GOP telling him they not only disagreed with him but they couldn’t stand him or his views!
Contrast the Republican (or conservative) reaction to Duke to Senator Robert Byrd. He is a Democrat (liberal). He was also a past leader the Ku Klux Klan. He became a DEMOCRATIC Senator in 1959. He is still a Senator. When the Democrats controlled the Senate he was elected President Pro Tem.
So, tell me, who stands closer to the mainstream of the conservatives and liberals?
Duke, a KKK leader, was shunned, major party leaders worked to keep him out of office and he is now somewhere in obscurity with no power or office.
Byrd, a KKK leader, is a major leader in the Democratic Party and is held in high esteem by the Democrats.
You support the KKK ralphieboy? You are a liberal, are you not? Byrd is a liberal, so you must support the KKK. That logic is just as sound as the logic in your post!
Comment by jlwb - January 31, 2006 @ 1:56 am
jlwb,
since you rightly took me to task about Dave Duke, I give you another mainstream Republican quote to make up for it:
“Two things made this country great: White men & Christianity. The degree these two have diminished is in direct proportion to the corruption and fall of the nation. Every problem that has arisen (sic) can be directly traced back to our departure from God’s Law and the disenfranchisement of White men.”
- State Rep. Don Davis (R-NC), emailed to every member of the North Carolina House and Senate, reported by the Fayetteville Observer, 08-22-01
Now being a conservative does not make one a supporter of these fascistoid views any more than being a liberal makes on either a Democrat or a Byrd supporter.
I once again point out that it is easy to fetch an extremist from either side of the political spectrum, bei it a Barbara Streisand or a Don Davis and hold them up as paragons of liberal/conservative thinking.
Comment by ralphieboy - January 31, 2006 @ 3:31 am
@ralphieboy
Byrd a leader in the UNITED STATES Senate. Byrd is one of only 100 people holding that office AND he is a leader in Democratic Party and was a leader in the Senate when the Democrats held the majority. THAT is mainstream.
Davis is a rep (one out of prehaps 400-500) in one state out of 50. Is that mainstream?
you said: “I appreciate conservative thought when it is rational and well thought out.”
So far you’ve come up with Duke and Davis. What DO you know about conservatives?
Comment by jlwb - January 31, 2006 @ 9:37 pm
I also know that Southern Democrats, back in the dark days before the Reagan Revolution when no Republican could consider getting elected for office in the South, were often more conservative than their Republican counterparts. I never voted for Senator Byrd.
Nonetheless, I’m sure that your mainstream is more mainstream than my mainstream.
And I know about Senator Santorum, who compares gays to wife-beaters, child abousers and sheep f*ckers. Now that’s pretty mainstream…
Comment by ralphieboy - February 1, 2006 @ 6:48 am
@ralphieboy
3 strikes in a row! WOW!
If you are going to slander Santorum, at least get it a little closer to what he actually said!
“And if the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery.”
I appreciate liberal thought when it is rational and well thought out. So far, you are not providing rational, factual, well thought out ideas.
Comment by jlwb - February 1, 2006 @ 12:27 pm