Republikong
I forgot to mention that I went to see King Kong last weekend. When the loooong movie was over, so was the weekend. But I liked it. (No, I did not cry!)
Now, I heard about a silly accusation that the movie has a racial undertone. I must have missed it, although, there is a scene where the giant ape grabs a black guy and throws him against a wall. That’s a little rough since Kong could have just pushed him aside. Other minorities are being mistreated as well, such as Asians and dinosaurs.
However, I did see some political symbolism. King Kong clearly represents Bush and the republican party. Did you see it, too? And the pretty white woman -I forgot her name- symbolizes America. Yes, it’s perfect!
Let’s continue on this road. The bad guy who lures the pretty white woman on a dangerous journey by promising her fame and fortune stands for the Dummycrats, of course. They travel on an old ship, the patience and good nature of the American people, navigated through rough seas by an experienced Captain (Oliver North).
They arrive on an uncharted island (40-year limbo of the Republicans) where they discover many strange creatures (minorities) until they come face to face with the king of minorities himself: King Kong. He falls in love with the pretty white woman and she is very fond of him, too. But the bad guy won’t allow them any time for some nookie. He’s got other plans.
Heavily drugged with chloroform (liberalism) they take Kong back home. He is being put on display in a theatre (New York Times) where the audience (Hollywood left) watches him in shock and awe.
Kong manages to break free (majority in the senate, the house and winning presidential elections in 2000 and 2004). He goes on a rampage (war on terrorism), touches base with the love of his life, snatches her off the street and climbs up the Empire State Building (condescending arrogance of the Dummycrats) where they both agree that the sunrise (freedom) is a beautiful thing.
In a tragic climax our beloved Kong gets blasted off the skyscraper by half a dozen planes (liberals, mainstream media, Greenpeace, ACLU, Supreme Court and Cindy Sheehan). A man takes the elevator to get the pretty white woman off the top of the building. I can’t remember his name, either, but he is the good guy throughout the movie. Wait, I remember now, it was Joe Lieberman!
Did I leave anything out?
I just realized that the movie doesn’t have a happy ending. I think I’m going to cry after all …
Poor old Kong’s supposed to represent Bush? Come on Mick. First of all - He’s big and black and everybody´s thoughts are on what he has hiding below the waiste-line of that fur of his. Sounds more like Dennis Rodman to me. But then again; At the moment our friend Dennis seems to be uncertain as to which sex he should adopt and that doesn’t sound like Kong at all.
So who do we have left? What about Tookie? Now that’s a match! Big, black and straight out of the jungle. Everone is scared of the bugger, but there must be a soft core in him somewhere because he writes kiddies books. OK, that’s that. But what about the woman? Schwarzenegger? No way. The people of California? That could fit. So now we can spin a garn.
Tookie is abducted from his ghettoe jungle by the law. In his natural habitat he used to give them natives hell and eat a woman a year. Now he’s been reduced to a sorry blighter on death row who decides to abduct the sympathy of the Californian people by doing good and wrighting kiddies books. The Cali’s are so impressed by this change of attitude that they fall in love with him. Then they both try to escape justice by climbing into wordwide publicity in order to evade the just sentence. This is where Schwarzenegger comes in. The Terminator gets airborne and grounds all of Kong’s aspirations in the nick of time.
What do you think mick? Caught the mood?
Comment by Mike - December 21, 2005 @ 2:16 am
Speaking of democrats, another name that might fit in this genre would be, ”DonkeyKong”
A giant ass causes America to suffocated under the vast amounts of manure it leaves in its wake.
Comment by Claudia - December 21, 2005 @ 2:39 am
Correction: The word should be ’suffocate’ not ’suffocated’.
Comment by Claudia - December 21, 2005 @ 2:43 am
Dear Claudia,
Your expression, “A giant ass causes America to suffocated under the vast amounts of manure” is precious. So precious in fact that I am willing to consider adding it to the list of books we are publishing (Saddam’s Kalishnakovs for Kiddies, and Tookie’s Cookies for Christ).
Your gifted writing indicates a background in literature and I suspect you may be a professor at New York University (nicht wahr?). If you have sufficient tenure and time (sorry, with tenure I should realize that you have unlimited time), perhaps you could visit our offices at the Guardian and discuss a breathtaking future for you.
We at the Guardian are always seeking individuals that reflect our high standards of journalistic decorum in screwing the United States, and find that few people have your innate understanding of the English language.
We await your reply with bated breath.
Guardian Staff
Comment by Ray - December 23, 2005 @ 8:42 am
Well, this characterization was way off, because even if I were generous, I couldn’t see anything political in King Kong (aside of being an over-long action movie which went the wrong way). Even the bad portrayal of the early 20th century New York society wasn’t worth noting, so I must reject your analysis, it just is deeper than the whole flick.
But I hope you cry, because this movie really was BAD!!
Comment by Max - December 24, 2005 @ 2:35 am
Ray,
You do realize, ‘the giant ass ‘ represents the Democrats as a whole? Having said that, I can be bought. Buy me a pretty pony (a girl needs accessories, you know) and I’m in! I’ll also need a permanent parking space at work […] to park my pretty pony.
Many blessings to you and yours in the coming New Year
Almost sincerely,
Claudia (the other white meat)
Comment by Claudia - December 24, 2005 @ 5:47 am
Claudia,
A sweetie like you should never refer to herself as “the other white meat”. I suspect it is the unhealthy influence of the typical european male. I am saddling my charger and preparing to ride to the assistance of a damsel in distress. Once there, the pony is yours and my heart, sweet Genevieve.
But first, this windmill—
Comment by Ray - December 24, 2005 @ 1:07 pm
Dearest Ray Don Arthur,
As long as you’re bent on rescuing me from European patriarchal oppression and… when you‘re done with your Quixotesque [sic] adventures, might you pick up a few needed items along the way–O’ hunter-gatherer?
25 MM cannon
Night-vision goggles
Tampons (unscented)
Wonder bread
Shrubbery
Eagerly waiting…
Genevieve
Comment by Claudia - December 24, 2005 @ 10:44 pm
Genevieve,
I am on my way and have picked up a partridge in a pear tree. A bit awkward, but am handling it with your pony bearing up well.
Another windmill–.
Comment by Ray - December 25, 2005 @ 9:20 am
Ray Don Arthur,
Typical man, a woman gives you a list and you totally ignore it and bring home ‘a partridge in a pear tree’ instead. However, after consulting the Martha Stewart section on, ‘How To Make A Tampon Out Of A Partridge In A Pear Tree’ and other handy ideas, I think I can make this work. Carry on hunter-gatherer man, carry on!
Genevieve
Comment by Claudia - December 26, 2005 @ 2:29 am
Genevieve,
Am now making progress fair damsel. Picked up a pair of turtle doves which were hiding in some shrubbery. Your pony tried to eat the shrubbery. Do not despair sweet Genevieve. We are coming!
Don Arthur
Comment by Ray - December 26, 2005 @ 6:42 am
Dearest Don Arthur,
I fear you’ll have to make a slight detour along the way. Stop by Capt. Fubar’s house and kick his ass. While you’re at it, reach into his pockets and look for any spare change. Not to worry if you feel anything hard, as, he has no gonads, it’s simply currency. (hopefully)
When you return, we shall talk to the doctor about your obsession with fowl.
Genevieve
Comment by Claudia - December 26, 2005 @ 8:12 am
Sweet Genevieve,
A fracas a Fubar’s. He must have known I was coming. He kicked your pony’s ass and I bent my lance on his inflatable girlfriend. Left quickly but seem to be followed by three french hens. Not to worry sweet Genevieve, we are galloping down the road.
Adoringly,
Don Arthur
Comment by Ray - December 27, 2005 @ 6:59 am
Don Arthur,
Lovely… now you have the French army following you. Just tell the hens that there is peril up ahead and they will quickly retreat.
Must I do everything for you? Don’t make me come there!
In a perpetual state of PMS,
Genevieve
Comment by Claudia - December 28, 2005 @ 3:37 am
You were right Genevieve
about the French hens. They deserted while muttering something about “surrender monkeys”. Methinks you are a little too severe on me sweet Genevieve. I am coming to save you and you are beginning to sound like my first princess, “Mary motor mouth”. Between you and the four calling birds that are circling your pony and me, I can’t hear myself think. This saving business is much harder than it looks.
Still Adoringly,
Don Arthur
Comment by Ray - December 28, 2005 @ 7:07 am
Dear-still-adoring-me-Don-Arthur,
It’s apparent that you’re delirious from the infamous ‘fubar fowl flu‘. Your obsession with all things fowl has put you in dire-straights and…will surely be your demise. Before you drop-dead, might you at least bring the items I’ve requested? I would come and bail your man-ass out, but I’m rather busy here chatting with Jane.
Hugs and kisses to my pretty pony.
Genevieve
Comment by Claudia - December 28, 2005 @ 2:14 pm
Sweet Genevieve,
An amazing thing happened today. A beautiful lady offered me five golden rings to accompany her on a weekend in Las Vegas! It was a difficult decision sweet Genevieve–to save a lady–or to help one fall. I had to choose between running errands on a tired horse or horsing around with Mimi.
I bet the five golden rings and hit the jackpot! And so sweet Genevieve I must say Adios! Your pony is tied up at the door of the Bellagio and looks happy. I am going to miss you and Fubar’s inflatable girlfriend.
From our beautiful room in Las Vegas
Don Arthur and Mimi
Happy New Year!
Comment by Ray - December 29, 2005 @ 7:58 am
Don Arthur and Mimi,
A most ‘Happy New Year’ to you both!
Genevieve
Comment by Claudia - December 29, 2005 @ 8:54 am
Awesome review of the Kong movie, best Kong review I have EVER seen.
You guys have a GREAT new Year.
Comment by GM Roper - December 29, 2005 @ 5:45 pm
now i have to see it..
hitler’s favorite movie?
king kong. tee hee.
one look at claudia and I’m back in heidelberg dancing at the teen club on phv..
Comment by playertwo - January 2, 2006 @ 10:41 pm